Halloween Crunch Time

Do you have a costume yet? I don't, and its officially....

 Halloween Crunch Time.

I decided to have today's post to be a short trip down memory lane and pull pictures from the personal archives. To save you some Sprite I left out the 2 halloweens when I was dressed as a Naughty Race Car Driver and A Dirty Pirate Hooker.  You're welcome.

First, join me and my friends from college as we all cross dress for the "Moustachio-Bashio"  This was probably one of my favorite parties I've ever attended.  Most of our costumes were creations we made with the help of the Salvation Army.  This party is like a Masquerade minus the mask plus the moustache.

Two pictures are necessary for the Moustachio-Bashio because it was so epic. In fact, this wasn't even a Halloween party we were all just really bored and wanted an excuse to dress up. Imagine walking around campus with a moustache on while no other student is dressed up except you and your lonely crew. But at any rate it's great party or costume idea.  

We were the 'Ladies Jamaican Bob Sled Team'.  None of us really wanted to dress up, but we all had green shirts and black under armor and tights. *shrug* something light to keep the Party-Pooper-Patrol at bay.

All Black anything with some ninja swords and a mask?! You can't go wrong with that. Takes little effort and people actually get freaked out by you.

One of my favorite halloween costumes.  My friend Joe dressed as perverted old lady. 

Do you have an idea of what you're going to be yet??? Reader, I now challenge you to take pictures of some people dressed up for Halloween over the weekend; the good, the bad, and the awesome.  Please, send your pictures to cmbeez87@gmail.com with a description of said picture in your own words.  Halloween is a night to be shared with the world people! Monday morning we will be posting 2011 Halloween pictures so help me by participating. 

Come Get Your Kids

and steal any of my ideas :)

Happy Halloween Folks

Halloween: The Good, The Bad, The Awesome

This year for halloween I envision people going even harder than last year. Ladies, if I can't see either your tits or you ass meat, you're doing it wrong.  Fellas, if you and your friends dress up as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the 5th year in a row, you're doing it wrong.  Today we will discuss costume choices, the good, the bad, and the awesome so hopefully you can use this opportunity to brainstorm and/or discuss.

Let's Begin. 

He's doing it right.  This young fella is more than likely going to get some buns tonight for being clever as fuck.  Any drunk girl in a bikini who is willing to sip wine from his loins also will slob on his knob. Well done sir.

Baby Girl...you're doing it wrong.  You have put zero thought or effort into this years' costume choice which is clearly just a bra and panties.  Nobody likes a skinny bitch in her bra and panties walking around like she's really dressing up. Please participate.

Dude....you're doing it wrong. All wrong.

You my friend are doing it right. However I do hope there is some double sided tape involved with this costume.  

You're doing a right! A classic "Dick-in-a-Box" costume. Well done sir, well done.

You're doing it wrong. This is disgusting and you will absolutely be going home alone tonight. Your mother would be ashamed.

Ladies, you're doing it right. I see plenty of ass and titties AND hints of homosexuality. Well done girls.

You are doing it ALL WRONG! I hope someone kicked the shit out of you too.

From the personal archives: My roommates and I in college, we're all doing it wrong.  This night we threw the worst halloween party ever.  No skanks were present, and at least three dudes pissed in my basement on three separate occasions...

That wraps it up folks. Make sure you drink responsibly and ladies I recommend wearing at least 2 pairs of panties just incase one gets caught up in your butt cheek. Last but not least, let your friends prosper.  Halloween is the night to not give a shit and pretend you're some slut who you're not (or maybe you are, I'm not judging). I encourage you to have fun but not to offend anyone.  That last thing you want to do is wear a politically incorrect costume that will shame your family name.

Come Get Your Kids

Come Get Your Kids: More Dog Costumes. Thanks White People

Halloween is right around the corner and instead of posting slutty dumb Halloween costumes (which I probably will do anyway in the near future) let's take another look at man's best friend on their most humiliating holiday.  As proven in a previous post, white people always treat their pets like kids...so why leave Spot out on Halloween?!White people do a lot of shit, but you've got to give us some honest credit for the following....

Some type of doodle mix wearing a Buddy the Elf costume....lol

For me, this is even too much. That dog looks too comfortable with his fake horse hooves.  Crazy white people. "Headless "dog" man"

Simba, is that you???

Yoda Pug says: "Funny Not You Are!!!"

Golden Retriever gone wild.

This one is my favorite! ALLIGATORS LOVE BEAGLES!!!!

I hope you all are thinking about Halloween whether it be for you to get shit faced wasted with your friends or taking your kids out for halloween.  You might be the type of person who doesn't like to dress up, but also doesn't like to miss out on all the free candy.  So just a tip for everyone who is not white and hating but loving Halloween; if someone wants you to dress up for a party or trick or treating but you don't really like doing it...dress up your dog for the occasion instead and take them with you. If asked why you aren't dressed for Halloween, point to your dog and say "I'm White."  This should get you by swimmingly :)

Go On And Get Um'

(bet you laughed)

ColumBUST Day: Guest Blog By @_acGUERiN

America is the land of pointless holidays with no meaning behind them.  Today for example, “Columbus Day” …Somebody please tell me the point of this holiday?  It sincerely boggles my brain when people say some shenanigans like “Of course we should celebrate Columbus day he “discovered” America.”  To those people I say “show me your diploma.” You could not have possibly graduated from an accredited high school and still believe that bullshit? How do you discover a land that has people already living there? I guarantee these are the same assholes that wait for pointless holidays like this to get a day off so they can spend their Sunday nights drinking their keystone light beer and angling their next tender facebook profile pic like this guy…

But kids seriously, let’s take a walk down memory lane for a minute.  Remember elementary school when we colored in pictures of the Indians and pilgrims & little turkeys made out of our hands and they were sharing thanksgiving dinner and everything was all good. 

*cough* bullshit *cough*. Yeah that was all lies. 

If school has taught you anything it’s to believe only half the shit they tell you. But I digress, So anyway later we learn that shit didn’t exactly go down that smoothly & The Indians didn’t just give up their land and weren’t exactly cool about these non-pigmented faces coming here taking their land and spreading diseases And yet we still celebrate a holiday based around Christopher Columbus’s genocide of Native Americans. Way to go America! How bout we give Hitler a national holiday too and see how that shit goes over.  Yeah, it probably won’t happen, but makes you wonder what the Indians feel about having a national holiday dedicated to a man that wiped out a whole race of people. 

But I leave you with this e-card, Send it to all your friends that claim their “a quarter Cherokee” after you take something of theirs and claim it as your own. 

 And Parents; Please COME GET YOUR KIDS before they really start to believe today is a real holiday.

[[FOLLOW @_acGUERiN ON TWITTER!!!]]

Come Get Your Kids: The 40oz.

The 40 ounce. We all remember those thursday afternoons after class when you thought you spent your last stipplings on school supplies and pizza.  You thought you weren't going to be able to go out that night or weekend because of it.  Think again newb!!! Scrounge up that change, all you need is $2 total to have an interesting night.

It's been scientifically proven that white people love Olde English 40oz. Why you ask? Well to be frank, because black people made it cool, and that's just what us whites do.  Seriously its only $2, you really can't beat that and the taste....well if you drink fast enough you wont taste it at all.

"Edward 40 Hands" by far one of my favorite college drinking games.  All you need is $4 for two 40 ounces of your choice, some duct tape, and for someone to assist you when it's time to "break the seal."  The object of the game is to be the first one to drink your two 40oz. You cannot remove your hands from the bottle until you have finished all 80oz of malt liquor.  Some tips: wear gloves, your hands will be cold.  Wear pants that can easily be taken off to use the bathroom. (no jeans or belts). Ladies, a skirt or dress with no panties should do the trick.  Also, alternate which 40 you're drinking from as the heat from your hands WILL make the 40oz become warmer AKA more disgusting.

 This guy looks likes he's having a good night, but he has no beard so he will more than likely sleep alone.

 This young lady has only just begun.  You got a lot to go baby girl.

Bottom lip out, relax the throat and let the cheap beer flow.

And this my friends...is how NOT to drink a 40oz.  Don't do it naked because you increase your chances of getting anally raped.  At least he put a blanket down before rubbing his man meat all up in the couch.

Friends; I encourage you to drink, but drink responsibly.  However, DO NOT let your friends party naked, unless you have a camera and are going to send those pictures to me to end up on here :)

Come Get Your Kids: College Style

(Not a 40oz, but black Michael Jackson with two midgets chugging Vodka?! Why the hell not?)