Beards Will Keep You Warm This Winter

Beards are without a doubt an essential part to the approaching colder months. If you can't grow one, shame on you.  The importance of beards was brought to my attention by @OTRecords who had a brilliant rant on beards last night.  Here's a exempt directly from his timeline.

Fellas: Its going to be a cold winter.

The baby-like skin might look appealing in sunlight and summer months, but not for long.  Too bad Hov and Wiz can't grow beards. Good luck keeping your ladies warm gentlemen, and don't leave the house without a scarf.

Wayne....I haven't seen him sport anything more than a chinstrap, which does not count as a beard.  This little patch of pubes on his chin doesn't count either.

Tiger.  After the scandal/fiasco he began to start trying to grow a beard but only got as far as a goatee, which also doesn't count as a beard.

Now that's a beard!! I just want to nuzzle my face in his neck and breathe in his beard's essence. 

If you don't feel more safe around a person with a beard versus one without than you're a straight fraud, and you can't be trusted.  To those who cannot grow a beard I'm so sorry for you, because its been scientifically proven that you will get less buns between the months of October and March, good luck and God Speed.

Finally, a special RIP shout out to Billy Mays for having the greatest white man beard in history.

Grow out your facial hair fellas, and have a great cuffing season.